


Who We Are and Who We're Meant to Be

by Kate_Viche



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: ALL THE ANGST, Alternate Universe - Doctor Who Fusion, Angst, Can be read that way though, Companion!Jeremy, Doctor!Michael, Does regeneration count as character death?, Gen, Minor Character Death, Not Jeremy/Michael, Regeneration, doctor!ryan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 12:04:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17344916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kate_Viche/pseuds/Kate_Viche
Summary: Jeremy hasn't been traveling with the Doctor for very long, but its been long enough for him to decide that he doesn't want to leave. Traveling with the Doctor, running from aliens and dealing with his quick-witted temper? Its everything he ever wanted. However, a dangerous encounter with the Doctor's long-sworn enemy leaves the Doctor dying, and Jeremy is suddenly faced with the ever looming truth that he may loose the Doctor forever.~"I absorbed all the energy of the time vortex, something that’s real dumb, so, not really," the Doctor grunts out. Jeremy wants to snap at his sass, but the shakiness in the Doctor's reply scares him a bit.  "Its killing every single cell in my body.” When the Doctor raises his gaze to meet eyes with him, Jeremy is hit with the pure unadulterated pain in his eyes. “I'm dying."





	Who We Are and Who We're Meant to Be

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking of random Achievement Hunter AU's I could do, and at the same time I was also watching Doctor Who. Before I could stop myself, I began writing this. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> I'd like to give a big thank you to a friend of mine on discord for reading over this and correcting any mistakes of mine. Thanks so much! (Tricklesnitz)

The grated floor of the TARDIS was not the most ideal way to wake up, Jeremy learns. What exactly had lead him to awake here, he wondered. He didn't think it was a habit that he often relished in, and his back was complaining immensely. A groan forces its way from his throat before he could stop himself, the sudden pounding through his head cutting through his thought process as he tried to sit up.

"Don’t hit your head again, idiot." Turning his head greets Jeremy to the sight of the Doctor leaning against the console, reading some calculation or another. His leather jacket and messy, curly hair is a familiar sight, one that brings that all too comforting feeling of awe and intimidation all at once. That was typically a familiar feeling with the Doctor, though.

"What... Happened again?" Jeremy asks, slowly sitting up as he supports his head. "I kinda remember this singing in my head and it's freaking me out a bit."

The Doctor chortles at his description. "Yeah, I sung the Daleks my best rendition of Toxic and they ran away." Jeremy laughs at the imagery, one that wasn't all together too improbable. The Doctor could spontaneously burst into song whenever he caught a phrase or sentence that reminded him of the lyrics, always leaving Jeremy in fits of laughter.

Still, considering that the Daleks that left Jeremy absolutely terrified, he doesn't think that the Doctor's terrible singing skills would run them off that easily. "Still doesn't explain how I got here, though. I remember being back home- your fault, I think." The Doctor's lips quirk upwards at his remark, but doesn't add in anything other than that. "I kind of remember forcing something open in the TARDIS, and this big bright light, but other than that? Nothing." A glance around the TARDIS proves futile in restoring any lost memories of his, mind still a little foggy.

A glance to the Doctor greets him with the man already gazing back at him. There's a smile on his face, but it seems... Distant, a little bit sad too. It startles Jeremy if he is being honest; the Doctor never wore his emotions on his sleeve so easily, spare those few moments every now and again and his constant rage. It was a façade, Jeremy had come to know. Anger meant that people would listen, witty and sarcastic remarks would mean people wouldn't question him, startling cold glares would put people in their place.  Seeing such an expression on his face stirs something deep in his gut that he can't really explain.

"Jeremy Dooley. Lil’ J," the Doctor starts, a shake of his head with a chuckle. "I was gonna take you to Barcelona next. The planet, not the city.  Pretty cool place, I think you would have liked it. It has dogs with no noses! What kind of place is that?!" He begins laughing, and Jeremy can't help but join along. These are some of his favourite moments, when they would just... Laugh. Get lost in the moment.

It takes a few seconds for his laughter to die down, and for the Doctor's words to catch up with him. "Back up a second. Why can't we go?" he asks.

The Doctor shrugs, gaze averting his own. "Maybe you still will, maybe I will. But not together."

A bark of a laugh leaves his lips as he stands to his feet, using the TARDIS' coral support beams. "What does that mean? You're making absolutely no sense." The words leaving his mouth are ones he is used to with the Doctor, always going off about something he didn’t quite understand. This time, though… feels a bit different.

"Who knows? I might never make sense again! I might be dumb, or rude, or domestic! Imagine that. I might even have no _head_!" The Doctor prattles on, gesturing wildly. Always so expressive, that was something that Jeremy always loved to watch. This enigma of a man. every little part of who this man was turned out to be a mystery that needed solving--Including whatever the hell he was saying right now. Often he would ramble on about things that Jeremy never quite understands, but that was stuff like physics and stuff, not this.

A sigh accompanies his words. "This process is all weird and stupid and just... Random. Never know what I'll end up with." Jeremy opens his mouth to demand another explanation, to simplify what he's saying when suddenly the Doctor stumbles back a few feet as he crumbles in on himself, a shout of pain accompanying the sudden harsh glow from his body.

Jeremy shoots forward to assist him with a cry of, ' _Doctor!"_ but a hand halts his movement as the Doctor barks out a harsh, **_"Stay away!_ **"

Jeremy complies, but not without eyebrows furrowing in worry. The Doctor's nose is all scrunched up in pain, and Jeremy only now notices the beads of sweat clinging to his forehead and dampening his  hair as his arms wrap around his stomach. "What- what's happening?" Jeremy demands, hands hovering awkwardly with the need to _help_ the Doctor. "Are you alright?"

"I absorbed all the energy of the time vortex, something that’s real dumb, so, not really," the Doctor grunts out. Jeremy wants to snap at his sass, but the shakiness in the Doctor's reply scares him a bit.  "Its killing every single cell in my body.” When the Doctor raises his gaze to meet eyes with him, Jeremy is hit with the pure unadulterated pain in his eyes. “I'm dying."

The thought slaps Jeremy in the face.. "Can't you do something about it?!" he shouts, panicked.

"What do you think I'm doing?" the Doctor replies, terse.. "Time lords have this magic trick. It’s uh... Kind of like a cheat code against death." Hope fills Jeremy's chest, but the despondent look that still resides on the Doctor's face squashes it easily.  "Except uh... I'm gonna change. And I won't ever see you again." The entire world seems to collapse on top of Jeremy, suffocating him through his grief. It was a stupid thought, but Jeremy couldn't help but believe that this would last forever. The Doctor seemed so... Invincible. Like nothing would ever conquer him, but…

Here he is, dying, and Jeremy doesn’t know how to handle that hard truth. Even as the Doctor gives out a fake laugh and a, "Not with this stupid face, at least," it doesn't ease the helpless feeling at all.

The Doctor, _his_ Doctor, said he was dying. How the hell was Jeremy supposed to react to that?! Laugh with him and just let him die? Sit idly by and just let it happen?

It seems like time stops around them, as Jeremy recalls each and every encounter he's ever had with him. The good times, the bad times. He thinks of the time when the Doctor first met Captain Lindsay Tuggey and was beyond frustrated with her; when he accidentally brought Jeremy back home 12 months after they first left and he'd gotten a good smack to the face; when they both sat on the steps of the TARDIS door to gaze down at Woman Wept in silence, without insults or jabs. Jeremy decides he doesn't want all that to end. It's unfair. The most amazing thing to ever happen in his life is being ripped from his grasp, and he can’t do anything about it.

"Before I go-"

"Don't," Jeremy growls out, frustrated tears pricking at his eyes. "Don't _fucking_ say things like that."

A smile is all that he gets for a reply. "Jeremy. Before I die, I want you to know you were pretty fucking great. The whole time, no matter what I said." There's that grin on his face, lips completely pulled up and his eyes scrunching, completely and fully happy. No hint of fear, or regret or rage. It was an accepting look, one that made a sob tear through his throat unexpectedly. "You wanna know what, though?" The Doctor continues, ignoring the way Jeremy has to clamp a hand around his mouth to keep the harsh gasps at bay as his eyes glint happily. "I was pretty fucking awesome, too."

One second Jeremy and the Doctor's eyes meet, a boy barely over 19 and a rage filled man. The Doctor's eyes are filled with understanding and contentment, as if he couldn't wish for a better way to go, yet still so unbelievably sad.

That was always the thing with the Doctor, no matter how many lives he saved or how many times he pushed away his grief with a destructive emotion, his eyes always betrayed him, even now.

Eyes old beyond words, and body so young. Jeremy was such a small blip in this man's life stream, yet he had made the world for Jeremy. Realistically, Jeremy was aware that one day, yes, the Doctor would die, but not this soon. Not before Jeremy could attempt to ease the loneliness in his eyes.

These are all the thoughts rushing in and throughout his head as seconds pass between them, before the Doctor's head cracks backward as an explosion of gold roars around him. Shouting in alarm, Jeremy is pushed back by the pure overwhelming surge of power flooding from the man. He shields his eyes.  

When the light seems to dim the slightest bit, Jeremy risks raising his eyes to gaze at his friend. Gold pours from the Doctor's head and arms, encasing the TARDIS' control room in an ethereal glow. Heat radiates off him in waves to the point that it nearly singes away at Jeremy's skin. The desire to rush forward and help overwhelms him, but he has no idea what that would do to him. Despite every bone in his body screaming at him to go help the Doctor, he stays put as the explosion overtakes the room.

All of a sudden, the golden light was gone, as was the Doctor. Jeremy stumbles back in shock as an entirely new man stood in the Doctor's place, even the Doctor's (smaller) clothes hanging off his frame. He was taller, hair slicked back and blond with stubble around his sharp jawline. His expression was one of subtle shock and appeared to be slightly out of breath, but other than that he seemed to be completely content.

Eyes flicker up to meet his, and Jeremy involuntarily flinches back; though the man seems not to notice, or doesn’t care at all as he cheerfully says a deep, "Hello!"

Jeremy is rooted to his spot, staring at the stranger as his hands ran up and down the Doctor's clothes. "What was I talking about again?" he asks, a hand coming up to his chin to absentmindedly scratch his chin. He freezes. "Oh, a beard. That's new. Anyway- where was I? Oh right!" He smiles again, tongue brushing across the very top of his teeth in a cheerful grin.

Jeremy doesn’t know who this man is, or why he is here instead of the Doctor. He doesn’t trust him at all. No matter what the Doctor had said before he... This man, this _stranger_ is not the Doctor. He isn’t the man who picked him off his shitty estate apartment, who took him to death of the Earth and let him meet Charles Dickens. He isn’t the man who Jeremy had shared laughter and jabs with these past few months, who showed him the stars and all of time and space.

Still, no matter what he told himself, his mind betrays him when the stranger exclaims, "I was telling you about Barcelona!" and he can’t help but think, ' _He reminds me of the Doctor.'_

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
